First Order After Action Review for Operations on Jakku

Every army, same crap. Some things are eternal.

The Angry Staff Officer

After Action Review – Operations on Jakku

Scene: Platoon room for 1st Platoon, 2nd Company, 4th Battalion, 225th Legion, First Order Stormtrooper Corps. Platoon sergeant SG51 is conducting the after action review for operations on Jakku.

SG51: Alright, settle down troopers, settle down. Let’s get this whole AAR finished so that I don’t get an ass-chewing from the LT who is more scared of Captain Phasma than the enemy. 

Okay, so my name is SG51, I am your platoon sergeant, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill. And if I hear things like, “Oh the chow was shitty” or “the weather was bad,” Vader help me, I will have you doing PT in full armor up and down the length of this Star Destroyer.

Okay, so, operations on Jakku: what was supposed to happ – dammit, GD796, if you can’t keep your hand out of your crotch piece for…

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